What to do when you're feeling hopeless?

What to do when you’re feeling hopeless?

When lethargy is all you feel?

And pain… and disappointment..

And fear… and anxiety..

So overwhelmingly overwhelming…

What to do when you’re feeling suicidal?

When you feel like you want to end it all?

To just walk away and never look back?

To let the world burn as much you feel burnt…

What to do when you feel all alone?

With what feels like the burden of the world,

Pressing deep into your shoulders…

And pain fills your head and heart…

I don’t know what to do…

I don’t know where to go…

I don’t know who’ll accept me..

I don’t know it all…

And here I am.. 

Writing what I feel..

In hope that maybe somehow I’ll remember…

What to do when you’re feeling hopeless...

I woke up to screaming...

I heard it in my dreams,
A young boy screaming in pain,
I kept on sleeping,
I thought it was just a dream.

I heard it in my dreams,
Suddenly awareness came to me,
I am no longer dreaming,
But the scream continues.

I heard it in in my dreams,
But now awake I hear it loud and clear,
My son is screaming in pain,
Oh the agony of healing.

I heard it in my dream,
Nobody woke me from my slumber,
But waking up to my son screaming,
I wish it was all a dream.

Scattered Mind

My mind is scattered all over the floor,
Lacking focus it could not achieve it's aim,
Lacking strength it could not sustain it's ambition,
Lacking will it just gave up.

My mind is scattered all over the floor,
Again I have failed myself,
Again I have disappointed myself,
Again I have proven my doubts.

My mind is scattered all over the floor,
My most precious resource,
My most precious asset,
My most precious is all over the floor.

My mind is scattered all over the floor,
As I pick it up pieces by pieces,
The wailing images of fear keep on reappearing,
I know it's a trick, because my mind is all over the floor.

My mind is scattered all over the floor,
Goodbye yesterday, there was happy times, but there was also disappointment,
Greetings tomorrow, I hope for better times, but always fear the unseen shadows,
Come with me present, for forever we shall be together.

Drawing a blank

Lonely failure

They say it's lonely at the top,
But it's also so lonely at the bottom,
Scraping by day by day.....

To break the mold

The rich gets richer,
The poor gets poorer,
The fit gets fitter,
The fat gets fatter,
That is momentum of our lives,
That is how we normally live.

But it doesn't have to be that way,
You could turn it around the other way,
You could control the outcome of your life,
But it would be the fight of your life.

It would take a lot of energy,
It would take a lot of effort,
It would cause a lot of grief and anger,
It could be the end of you.

But things won't get better if you don't do it,
Things won't improve if you don't face it,
You have to stand up and completely beat it,
Or it will overcome and completely beat you.

Look for strength in hope and prayer,
Look for support from your progress each day,
You can make it if you stick to it,
And once you've turned it around...

The rich gets richer,
The fit gets fitter,
And you... live the life you deserve...

Same old me

I am sitting here today,
Contemplating my life,
Reading back my own thoughts,
Of years gone past.

I am still here today,
Uninspired and bored as ever,
I wish things could be different,
But still a wish is only a wish.

Now I have 5 kids,
More people who rely on me,
And as ever I feel,
I feel sorry for them.

Oh God would you forgive me?
For all my indulgence and sin,
And being self centered,
And always following my whims.

Oh wife would you ever forgive me?
For neglecting my responsibilities,
My promise to take care of you,
And to make you happy.

Oh kids would you ever forgive me?
For being tired and angry all the time,
And not being able to be your best friend,
And the model you could look up to.

Oh my friends would you ever forgive me?
For failing to fulfill your trust,
And in doing so gave effect,
To your livelihood and happiness.

Oh myself could you forgive me?
For failing to live your dream,
And always being a disappointment,
In absolutely everything.

So many wrongs I have done,
Even though I am nothing,
How big the damage would have been,
If I had been someone.

I'm sorry

Man in the desert

Every where I look, it's just miles and miles of sand,
The scorching sun above my head,
I don't know whether to go on or turn back,
All there is is miles and miles of sand.

How did I get myself to this place,
What happened to the lush vegetation and shade,
Why am I stuck in this place,
With nothing but miles and miles of sand.

I think I'm going crazy with all this sand,
They mean nothing to me,
Every step I take is more of the same,
Miles and miles of sand..

If there was a road, at least I can follow it,
If there was a trail at least I know someone's been there,
But I am all alone here and now,
In the desert miles and miles of sand.

ain't he lucky

Ain't he lucky,

The man who does besides Me,

Because he's happy

In this fifteen minutes

What can I say in this fifteen minutes?
Something to take your breath away?
Or more lamentations,
Of a man long gone astray.

Looking for inspiration,
Something that might help,
Help in any way at all,
Not another energy sap.

There is some use in relaxing a bit,
You know you deserve it,
Eyes feeling sleepy again,
Why oh why...

Soon my time will be up,
And nothing much I have done,
Next week is a new week,
Hope it'll be a better one.

State of regret

There are so many things which I can regret to,
All the things which I've tried to do,
Every little thing that went wrong,
and still dwells in my heart the pain.

There are so many things which I think of and cringe,
All the mistakes I've ever made,
From all the many weaknesses which I have,
It seems never ending.

Oh my God have mercy on me,
Forgive me for all that I've done,
And grant me strength so that I may,
Forgive myself today.

Try to be the best

Should I be the best?
Or should I just follow the rest?
I'm gonna try
Till the day I die

Published with Blogger-droid v1.6.5

Happiness by choice

There are so many choices in life,
Always with consequences,
Should it make you sad or happy?
That is also your choice.

Some choose to live happily,
And they see the silver lining in every cloud,
They live a joyful and eventful life,
Because they choose to be.

Some choose to live miserably,
They think that it was not their fault,
The world is to blame for their condition,
The misery will never stop.

Because if you choose not to choose,
Then forever you will be a victim of your own self,
For the price of laziness is not just comfort,
You will pay it with life.

A happy man

A happy man sits here,
and tries his best to type,
tired to the bone he is,
oh what a happy man.

I feel a breeze

It has been tiring all this time,
All the running and the shouting,
But things are finally slowing down,
I feel a breeze.

Harshness has conditioned me,
Made me harder than before,
But this hardness has a price,
I feel a breeze.

I want to always change for the better,
And want every advantage I can get,
But some changes has made be bitter,
I feel a breeze.

The nice cool breeze reminds me of better times,
When the heart was warm and forgiving,
Always hoping for the best in everything,
Oh to be young again... I feel a breeze.

Uninspired

Inspiration, motivation, dedication,
Things that I wish I have got,
But uninspired in my occupation,
I'm starting to feel like I rot.

Sitting here idly,
Just surfing all day long,
I start to feel self pity,
For one who used to be so strong.

All the responsibilities I carry,
Heavy upon weary shoulders,
My mind so full of worry,
About what's in the mind of others.

I wish I could see a light there,
Right at the end of the tunnel,
But I am afraid to pay my fare,
Because it just might be my funeral.

Death of the artist

Long I have feared this day would come,
When ideas no longer bloom,
And every inch of inspiration,
Is a struggle full of gloom.

Myself as an artist is dying,
Killed slowly by the mundane things I do,
I should have sat longer praying,
For my soul is in need of help too.

As I become weaker and more feeble,
My hopes begin to dim,
Every thought makes my brain tremble,
As things look more grim.

How I long for the days of youth,
Wasted and withered away,
I was a fool back then I know,
Because nothing is here to stay.

As I slowly stand up again on my feet,
My knees creak and crack,
But I shall not admit defeat,
I know one day I'll be back.

The hidden treasures

Do you know of the hidden treasures?
Kept safe from every person,
No one knows how much it's worth,
But it's more than you could ask for.

Do you know the value of patience?
Or the strength of silence?
Do you feel the warmth of friendship?
Or the satisfaction of content?

What is the value of your hidden treasures?
You yourself do not know,
Add more to it today,
So that you'll be pleased tomorrow.

A poem on Aging

What do you see nurse,
What do you see?
What are you thinking
When you look at me?
A crabby old woman,
Not very wise,
Uncertain of habit
With far away eyes.

Who dribbles her food
And makes no reply;
Then you say in a loud voice,
"I do wish you'd try."
Who seems not to notice
The things that you do,
And forever is losing
A stocking or shoe.

Unresisting or not,
Lets you do as you will;
With bathing or feeding,
The long day to fill.
Is that what you're thinking,
Is that what you see?
Then open your eyes nurse,
You're not looking at me.

I'll tell you who I am,
As I sit here so still,
As I move at your bidding,
As I eat at your will.

I'm a small child of ten ...
With a father and mother,
And brothers and sisters
Who love one another.

A girl of sixteen,
With wings on her feet;
Dreaming that soon,
A lover she'll meet.

A bride soon at twenty ...
My heart gives a leap;
Remembering the vows
That I promised to keep.

At twenty-five,
I have young of my own,
Who need me to build
A secure and happy home.

A woman of thirty,
My young now grow fast,
Bound together with ties
That forever should last.

At forty, my young ones
Have grown up and gone;
But my man is beside me
To see I don't mourn.

At fifty, once more ...
Babies play 'round my knees;
Again we know children,
My loved ones and me.

Dark days are upon me,
My husband is dead ...
I look at the future,
I shudder with dread;
For my young are all rearing,
Young of their own,
And I think of the years
And the love I have known.

I am an old woman now,
Nature is cruel,
'Tis her jest to make old age
Look like a fool.

The body, it crumbles,
Grace and vigor depart,
There is now a stone
Where I once had a heart.

But inside this old carcass,
A young girl still dwells,
And now and again
My battered heart swells.

I remember the joys,
I remember the pain,
And I'm loving and living
Life over again.

I think of the years ...
All too few, gone too fast,
And accept the stark fact
That nothing can last.

So open your eyes nurses,
Open and see ...
Not a "Crabbit Old Woman,"
Look closer ... see "Me."

----------------------------------------

found while stumbling.

A Little Inspiration

People are often unreasonable, illogical, and self-centered;
Forgive them anyway.
If you are kind, people may accuse you of selfish, ulterior motives;
Be kind anyway.
If you are successful, you will win some false friends and some true enemies;
Succeed anyway.
If you are honest and frank, people may cheat you;
Be honest and frank anyway.
What you spend years building, someone could destroy overnight;
Build anyway.
If you find serenity and happiness, they may be jealous;
Be happy anyway.
The good you do today, people will often forget tomorrow;
Do good anyway.
Give the world the best you have, and it may never be enough;
Give the world the best you've got anyway.
You see, in the final analysis, It is between you and God;
It never was between you and them anyway.

Author Unknown
--------------------------------------
found while stumbling.